How to do Fisherman’s Wharf Right
Fisherman’s Wharf probably used to be really cool, back when it was full of fishermen selling their wares. These days, it is the biggest tourist trap in the entire city, filled with corporate chains and crowds of lost tourists. No one who lives in San Francisco ever goes here, but for some reason tourists flock to this place.
My most important piece of advice about Fisherman’s Wharf is to avoid it like the plague. But if you must go there… here’s how to do it right.
- Check out the Bush Man. He’s a homeless guy who has really perfected the art of entertaining people for money. He likes to hide behind a bush, then jump out and scare unsuspecting tourists. Then he’ll ask you for a tip. He has said before that he makes $60,000 a year (tax-free!) The Bush Man usually hangs out in Fisherman’s Wharf on the sidewalk in front of In & Out.
- Eat at Sally’s Fishwich. They sell giant fried fish sandwiches for $5. It is the only place I’ve found to eat in this neighborhood that’s not overpriced, shitty food. It’s hidden a few blocks down from the main tourist drag. Get the half-wich for $5 – it’s all you need. And maybe a bowl of clam chowder.
- Check out the free performers on Pier 39. They usually have some kind of musician, circus performer, that sort of thing – pretty much every day.
- See the sea lions. They’re at the very end of Pier 39.
- Don’t ever buy souveneirs in Fisherman’s Wharf. You can get the exact same souveneirs for less than half the price in Chinatown.
- Get some sourdough bread at Boudin. San Francisco is known for its sourdough, and Boudin, while pricey, makes some of the best. Plus, they make breads in cool animal shapes, like alligators and crabs.
That’s it – that’s pretty much all there is to do in Fisherman’s Wharf! Now you can say you’ve been there. Congratulations.